Monkyz

Sorry

2009-06-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating my blog for so long...
Was so busy with studies, assignment, presentation and final exam is coming soon...
Well after my exam... i promise to update it~
So stay tune xD
Now gonna have my early rest... so tired for this few weeks~
Well nitez all ^^

My myth...

2009-05-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Release me from this mysterious waiting
The stars are falling; the wind is blowing
Finally I can hold you in my arms
Two hearts beating together
Believe me that my heart has never-change
Waiting a thousand year, You have my promise
No matter how many cold winter have passed
I will never let you go
Now hold my hands, and close your eyes
Please think about the days when we were in love
We loved each other too much, it caused us such pain
We can’t even say the words “I love you”
Every night my heart aches
I never stop thinking of you
I am used to being alone for such a long time and I face it with a smile
Believe me, I choose to wait
Even though it’s painful, I won’t leave
Only your tenderness can save me
From the endless cold
Let the love in our hearts
Become a blossoming flower
We can pass through time, never bowing our heads, and never giving up our dream
We never forget our promise
Only true love follows us as we travel through the endless space and time
Love is the only myth that exist in the hearts that never change

National Service 2009 Kumpulan 1 Siri 6 in kem Gambang , Kuantan , Pahang

2009-05-17T01:03:00.000-07:00

Thats me!

Sry for so late only post about my ns... actually i havent get all of the pic... but ya... i guess i should post it first :)
Well NS really can make me change... ya i already swear i will after i going there...
There~ a results of it... haha...
Hmm... I do suffer in either mentally(if ya know) and physically at there... Alot of it... haha...
But yea... i gain alot of experience, knowledge and most of all... FRENS!
Overall NS is fun and cool i guess haha :)

My cannon guild in ns lol o.o

My dormm8s

Oh gosh =.= so many luggage...

Happily going home but sad inside... xD
Bu she de all the frens there... ><

Colt M16 @_@

I found a "tortoys" lol

Try to find me o.o u surely cant find! xD

Wira Alpha!

Wirawati Alpha!

Hmm... Thats all i guess :) will upload more if get more picture from my ns frens...
~Toodle~

LMAO

2009-04-29T01:33:00.000-07:00

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Now I'm here :P

Sick day

2009-04-12T05:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i was already sick...
I think because i caught in the rain in friday night... owww... silly me because standing outside the rain >< now padan muka sick d... lol...
I thought will be all ok if i drink much water / rest much...
But when today morning my mom wake me up around 8++...
I was like blurr blurr... eyes keep seeing double vision o.o nearly fell down when off from the bed...
Omg then i was like no energy... haha...
But then i still nv tell my mom that i was sick...
Then me with my family went to breakfast... eat dimsum...
It is yummy... and very full... everyone was like ask me eat this eat that... omg fat fat ler o.o!
Then me and my dad and mom went to morib...
They bring me go pantai morib... we just walk around there only... dont really go to the beach...
The view was nice... but too many malays o.o and all the gerai-gerai is like spoiling the view of the place... owww if not... it will be a very beautiful place...
Now i feel like wanted to go to the beach to play... Mayb holidays go beach to play... it would be nice! lol...
After that we went to bought some fish for dinner tonight and to keep...
Then when we going back that time... i fall asleep in the car... lol... Guess im tired cause of the sicks...
Then came back home... i was like do nth... just hear songs (being emo again? lol ><) / play some games while waiting the time to past... lol =.= like so free eh?
Oh ya... the journey... my dad driving is like wow... roller coaster inside @_@!
He drive so fast and cut there cut here... kinda scary but fun... lol xD
Hmm now then after dinner... doing nth again... and i caught a bad headache o.o
All of the sudden 1... sob... i need sleep early later... tml somemore i got class at 8am... so i need wake up at 6.30am and leave at 7am o.o...
Hope my sick will cure by tml... I want to go college and play basketball in the night!
Hope wont be so weak like now... Later cant even shoot the ball to the hoops... then cham lor!
Haha... Thats all for today... Bye :)

Good and bad

2009-04-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

-Good things today-

Today i get to hang out with some of my frens...
We went to ac and then head to sunway pyramid for movie... confessions of a shopaholic...
The movie is nice and funny :) well most of us laugh like crazy @_@...
Even after the movie... joanne keep laugh none stop @_@ she saw the patung or "whatever it is call" by the window of some shops and keep laughing... o.o she cant stop laughing! omg?!
But today shi yee is kinda emo o.o wow? what happen... guess she is tired or mayb stress up with her studies... oww pity her :( cheer up shi yee xD
We eat dinner in salmon steak restaurant o.o first time go there... although shi yee say it is her lunch break place to eat o.o lol... guess have not much place to go eh xD
After that i fetch kuo liang and angeline back home... then i went kuo liang house... then chill in cc =.= it is getting freaking bored of it d... yawn...
Then around 10.30 i fetch him back and i went back home...
Well kinda a good day to hang out today :)
Hope can hang out more ^^

-Bad things today-
Well it doenst count real bad... and it is kinda a tiny problem lol ^^
I just hate being alone... especially i drive home alone in the night...
I keep being emo o.o... Keep thinking alot of stuff :(
Thinking of the past... The time together... oww just miss it ><

Ok i better not be emo... better cheer up... hehe... gonna go watch madagascar 2 o.o! my 1st bro bought it i guess... or was it his girlfriend 1 o.o not sure... nvm just watch and laugh hehehe ^^
bye! and its quite late d now :P 12 am d... nitez to the others that wanted to sleep d... hehe :)

Random~!

2009-03-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

The meaning of "SMILE"

S - Smile
M - Makes
I - I
L - Loves
E - Everyone

Wo hai xiang ta - JJ Lin

2009-03-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

This songs is kinda nice... well for me o.o
Try to hear or watch the video ba...
Here is the lyrics and video... enjoy...

林俊傑 Lin Jun Jie, JJ - 我還想她 Wo Hai Xiang Ta 歌詞 Lyrics

淚水將我淹沒到底誰該難過

lei shui jiang wo yan mo dao di shei gai nan guo

究竟是誰放掉這段感情

jiu jing shi shei fang diao zhe duan gan qing

我才終於明白辦不到的承諾就成了枷鎖

wo cai zhong yu ming bai ban bu dao de cheng nuo jiu cheng le jia suo

現實中幸福永遠缺貨

xian shi zhong xing fu yong yuan que huo

請告訴她我不愛她

qing gao su ta wo bu ai ta

笑著難過自我懲罰

xiao zhe nan guo zi wo cheng fa

想終止這一切掙扎

xiang zhong zhi zhe yi qie zheng zha

橫了心說真心謊話

heng le xin shuo zhen xin huang hua

別告訴她我還想她

bie gao su ta wo hai xiang ta

恨總比愛容易放下

hen zong bi ai rong yi fang xia

當淚水堵住了胸口

dang lei shui du zhu le xiong kou

就讓沉默代替所有回答

jiu rang chen mo dai ti suo you hui da

我才終於明白辦不到的承諾就成了枷鎖

wo cai zhong yu ming bai ban bu dao de cheng nuo jiu cheng le jia suo

現實中幸福永遠缺貨

xian shi zhong xing fu yong yuan que huo

請告訴她我不愛她

qing gao su ta wo bu ai ta

笑著難過自我懲罰

xiao zhe nan guo zi wo cheng fa

想終止這一切掙扎

xiang zhong zhi zhe yi qie zheng zha

橫了心說真心謊話

heng le xin shuo zhen xin huang hua

別告訴她我還想她

bie gao su ta wo hai xiang ta

恨總比愛容易放下

hen zong bi ai rong yi fang xia

當淚水堵住了胸口

dang lei shui du zhu le xiong kou

就讓沉默代替所有回答

jiu rang chen mo dai ti suo you hui da

我不愛我不痛我不懂

wo bu ai, wo bu tong, wo bu dong

我的心早已掏空

wo de xin zao yi tao kong

真心話言不由衷

zhen xin hua yan bu you zhong

請告訴她我不愛她

qing gao su ta wo bu ai ta

笑著難過自我懲罰

xiao zhe nan guo zi wo cheng fa

想終止這一切掙扎

xiang zhong zhi zhe yi qie zheng zha

橫了心說真心謊話

heng le xin shuo zhen xin huang hua

別告訴她我還想她

bie gao su ta wo hai xiang ta

恨總比愛容易放下

hen zong bi ai rong yi fang xia

當淚水堵住了胸口

dang lei shui du zhu le xiong kou

就讓沉默代替所有回答

jiu rang chen mo dai ti suo you hui da

別告訴她我還想她

bie gao su ta wo hai xiang ta

就讓沉默代替所有回答

jiu rang chen mo dai ti suo you hui da

I've been tagged o.o!

2009-03-17T06:38:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by my cousin ( wei nee ) o.o she simply tagged me. lol
Well... here comes o.o!

10 things about the person who tagged you:
1. She is my cousin o.o! the naughty one! lol xD
2. She is shorted than me ( of course! )
3. Skinny! cause dun eat much~ lol
4. Smart! cause can see she very hardworking and mayb been force to study o.o lol
5. Loves doll alot o.o! cause i saw the puppy doll like so long d still on her bed o.o!
6. Playful alot! haha
7. Mayb not very good in sports i guess o.o dont know much about that lol
8. Like shopping? cause alot of clothes she have o.o
9. Is a "wife" to someone name kay? although kay is a girl as i know o.o lol dunno whats the story to that
10. oh ya most important! THIS YEAR SHE GONNA TAKE PMR! LOL all the best cousin^^

10 things about me o.o! ( do i know myself well? )
1. Like sports alot o.o
2. Not good in studies :(
3. Like playing computer and chatting thru computer alot o.o!
4. Just out from jails! ( National Service ) Freedom at last! lol
5. Starting college life soon o.o!
6. Like to hang out with frens
7. Maybe think too much until "fan" everything
8. Finally have my own car to drive around everywhere! but need permission from parents ><
9. Love cute puppy / pets! would like to have one though o.o!
10. Like to hear songs! lol

Who i tag:
Currently no one i have tagged o.o lol

time to go back ns to finish the half of it...

2009-01-31T10:31:00.000-08:00

Time to go back...
Tml i going back to ns again... gonna finish the half of it that left...
coming back on 11th march though :)
Well i was wanted to come back for CNY to register my college too....
But then it was close whole week! so i cant register yet...
It is either my family help me register / wait me come back to register...
Hope can... haha...

Well CNY this year is cool... Well mayb i was in ns for kinda long...
Was missing bunch of my frens alot... Miss hang out with them!
It was cool when hanging out and it is rocks with them...
All the laughter and joy... Wow!
It was long that i havent see her too... I was happy too to see her though
Make my day go brighter... haha... My feelings still havent change huh? lol...
Trully love one person its hard to change... oh well... time to go back the time where life without her... is kinda miserable :( well bare with it...
Now going back to ns again... 1 month ++ not going to see them...
Awww so gonna miss all of them and especially my love 1....
Wish fast end the ns... come back and hang out again... by then i got my own car...
Oh yea! Gonna go to shake shake with frens... as i promise them! lol o.o

Well to everyone... take care and all the best for the future!
Do miss me :P and i will be back!
To have all the fun and hang out with u all!
Do sometimes text me in the weekends... mayb abit of chat will do too xD
Ok thats all for the update since the CNY holidays... its kinda late d now...
Time to sleep... tml waking up early to go back my camp... haha :)
See ya all in 1 month++ time... when im back from ns in 11th march... haha

~Signing off~
Monkyz a.k.a Heng

home sweet home

2009-01-24T05:17:00.000-08:00

hmmm....
i have come back from ns... for 1 week o.o
until 1st february... lol... was kinda happy to come back...
well was so tired though when came back home... feel like sleeping but was like so early~
haha... well surely alot of u ask that how was ns... for me... it is kinda cool and fun i guess...
but it does abit tireing... muscle pain, body ache... alot alot problem... haha... but still can bare with it...
already say to myself to build up myself / change myself... haha...
though i dunno i got change or not... unless ppl tell me though...
hmm very long story to say about in ns though...
not going to say it now... kinda tired and sleepy... hehe lazy d ><><

well i learn alot in ns though... think alot d...
haha... learn to understand more d...
loving one person... is hard to drop the feelings...
until now.. i still cant... haha silly me...
but guess i couldnt stop the person life for my own good...
i have learn not to control their life... or to be what it could... just for myself...
not to be selfish... haha... love is blind~
alot of news i heard when i come back... just open comp then alot of ppl msg me... ask about ns... lolz... do heard alot of news... well seriously... they have their own life to live on... i couldnt control / care about it... i still got my own life... haha...
well i do always think of the past... wanted to turn the time back... haha childish thoughts...
well better not say this things... next time only say... CNY should be enjoy and happy...haha...
and i come back is to have fun... lulz...

incredibly... i wrote diary in ns... unbelievable? but believe it... i dint bring back the diary though... i wrote in the ns books... but nv bring back... haha...
some i type it in my hp and put it in draft... lulz...
hope no one go spoil my locker and open it... and read it... then im so doom~ lolz
alot of things about my feelings and what i have learn...
there also like got go temple to pray and got "si fu" that teach...
well i seriously do respect what he say... and understand it...
"yesterday of me already die... today i have to be better then yesterday... and tml have to be better then today"... lolz...

well guess i should stop here for today... cant recall much now o.o sleepy + tired... hehe ><
just wanna say that... enjoy ur life...
countdown for going back ns again... 8 days left...
lolz...
adios..

Goodbye...

2008-12-31T06:08:00.000-08:00

So mafan this ns... billy keep say can go to his uncle's camp for the ns... but its just like keep delay and now say that the camp is full then ask me go to johor =.= i was like wth? go even further... but again delay until weekends only go... but i decided to go back my gambang camp... my original camp... better... later delay more then i more cham... guess tml i going d... today is my last day and was like last day of 2008...haha...

I have keep thinking about what happen in this few months... i regreted it really badly...
I have keep thinking and thinking... I always hope there is a chance or a return for this...
But i was wrong i guess... Many things i have made is a mistake... Guess i did a lot of wrong...
Time for change... Time to say good bye... Time to make a new life...
I hope that faith can still bring us together... Everyday... i was hoping for this...
I just hope that i can take care of u... forever and ever...
But guess it isnt the truth that i wanted... Guess i should disappear myself infront of everyone and from the surface of earth... as what i said in the last time post...
I do feel sad for all this... I do feel that hard to drop the feelings toward u...
Guess my life should be like this... Thanks for telling all that the other day... U make me realise... I do wish... we can still be together though... even after all the thing u said... i still can wait... but guess u will found a better one... much better...
I have did alot mistake... and im not that worth it i guess... time for change..
I dislike to start all my life all over again... I wish... this pathway can still goes on...
Wish it can return to the normal... like it use to be...
I will let it go... As long as u stay happy... thats what i hope u will always be...
I hope that we can start it over... but i guess the truth is not...
Well i guess this is the time... i going ns... when i come back... i dunno what will change... haha... i cant predict the future...
Well for now... good bye all... tml i leaving to ns d... well happy new year... Best luck for the future everyone...
We will meet.. if we have the faith.. or even.. maybe we can keep in touch somemore... i just hope...

Signing off~
Heng a.k.a Monkyz

The thoughts and feeling deep inside of me...

2008-12-26T08:45:00.001-08:00

Yesterday i dream too many of nightmare in just one night...
I keep jump out from sleep... keep staying awake...
I was keep trying to sleep back but i keep dream of more nightmare till the morning...
Then today i was like so tired... feel like wanted to sleep... but keep thinking of something...
Maybe was the nightmare i had that keep making me think...
I still rmb some of the nightmare... i hope it wont came truth... if it going to be... well...
I dunno what i can say... maybe it must be a faith... or it must be the god giving me hints... that this going to happen...
Was kinda irritates today... no mood and all other sad feeling come to me...
Keep thinking... No one will know how i feel... i hope there will have someone to share with...
But no... there isnt anyone... that will understand or even hear what i wanted to say...
Well i dun wanna say much... time past very fast... tml alot of ppl going to 1st batch ns d...
soon i going too... which is on monday... well... i dunno why i have this feeling... i starting to like leaving my fren... 1 by 1... not gonna be like with them anymore... soon i gonna forget them? or izzit they will forget me d soon...
Guess everyone gonna go to the separate way d... choosing their own pathway to walk...
Hope everyone has choosen the right way to go...
Well... i just wanna say sry to everyone that i have hurt or angry to them or something...
Just that i very very sry... i hope i can be forgiven...
Hope one day... we have faith... to meet each other... and can still rmb each other... and our last time memories... where we hang out... or even together playing... and doing foolish stuff...
Even when i did mistake... or even choosing a wrong choice... or even trusted a wrong person... or many things that i did wrong... all this could be an experience for me... to be grown... as a human in this world...
Well i know there is still much to learn... there wont be a stop for learning...
Well sweet time i guess... Thanks to everyone too... without u all... i wont be at here...
Where i cant even get any experience... or even any memories...
Thanks to u all...
Well... i think i should end here... gonna go sleep soon... too tired d...
Hope no nightmare tonight...
Bye...

Big bang - Day by day (Haru Haru)

2008-12-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

Big Bang - Haru Haru

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

Ah ah ah ah~

[Verse 1; GD + TOP]
My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind

My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(say goodbye)

[GD Rap]
Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

[TOP Rap]
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

[Chorus]
Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…

[Verse 2; SR + DS]
If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

[GD] Always be happy with him, (so) I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

[TOP] You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge; DS + SR]
I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by

[YB] It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

[Repeat Chorus]

Oh girl I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lïe
You’re my heart, say goodbye...

This is the lyrics of the songs... translate from japanese to english...

This is my all time favourite songs... since last time till now...
This songs is japanese songs... well it is translated...
Though i wanted to put the video at here... but i still dunno how~ gonna learn soon then i will post... meanwhile go dowload / go youtube to hear this songs if u all like to o.o... Got english subbed in youtube oh~
Maybe its just nice for me~ haha~
Well enjoy...

End of this...

2008-12-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

I think i should give an end of this...
I dun wanna keep hurting myself and being the one who always shouting to the ocean myself...
I know u drop it d... Well i should not keep thinking about this anymore... I going ns soon...
Every single day i have been think and torturing myself... lay on bed b4 i sleep i also think about it... looking at the sky... looking at the fan turning...
I keep thinking of the past... why is this happening? It should be past then let it go...
Why? why i keep thinking...
I keep thinking the word u say... u wont change...
But guess im wrong... i trust but i make the wrong choice...
Everything went too fast in this year... it was like so easy come and go...
Like few months only... alot of things happen to me... how do i handle or bare all of it...
What i can do? the holidays somemore is insufficient for me... cant even play to the max or even rest...
Going ns soon somemore... What on earth is happening...
Well i should give an end of this once and for all... I being too childish i guess...
Hate being myself... gonna erase my old and cranky old self...
Vanish!

I wont be what i meant to be last time d... I will change... As i swear...
Good bye to myself ( old self )
I giving an end of this... good bye...

What is this feeling?

2008-12-19T08:52:00.001-08:00

My feeling now is so like... messy around in my body?
Dunno what im feeling now...
Mayb i started to miss u d? Eventhough i know myself still havent drop the feeling...
Though we have not yet seen each other kinda long... but this time... u were far away...
This gonna be even long... i like going to ns like next week?
When u came back... i still at ns there... doing some exercise and all that?
But my feeling still here... missing... worrying... curious... and alot more...
When i were think about u... I lay on my bed... Looking at the fan turning... And i even look at the sky... thinking and daydreaming... wonder what u doing right now...
Though i missing u... but u were far away from here... cant chat with u... gonna be like this for the next 3 months? until i came back from ns? will that time everything will change?
Will i change? i cant see / predict the future though...
Its like my feeling is playing me... Sometimes this feeling and sometimes that...
What can i do? Though u chat with me b4 u go and even ask me dont worry that u will take care... I still will miss u when u at there...
It will be long... and it is long~ though its only 3 months... its kinda long for me...
Well.. the time will slowly past... until the 3 months past...
Though i dunno what will happen... just have to wait and wait and wait...
Just wanna say have a nice trip and have fun...
I will be at ns like next week... well.. i will so gonna miss u... even now i already missing u badly...
Though i was just screaming to the ocean(if u know what i meant)
Well... just take care and have fun to the max...
Until then...
Farewell~

Genting trips with bunch of my frens...

2008-12-16T23:21:00.000-08:00

As alot of ppl know.. i went to genting with my frens to hang out together...
It was a blast and i was having fun with them... it does give me a memories since i already shifted and i dunno when i going to have the chance to hang out with them...
Soon also going ns...
Well it was fun... i wish can hang out somemore in the future...
Well we do alot of things at there... its hardly to say all out though...haha
Im a guy that phobia to height though... but incrediblely... i doesnt feel afraid to the height when i sit cable car and even i dare to sit the space shot without any fear... haha...
Guess emo is powerful... haha xD
It was a blast though... at least a memories in the high place o.o... hope i can sit again~ haha
Here is some picture we take at there

Hmm.. i think thats enough... still got alot of picture though... but too lazy to upload all~ hahaha xD
Well thats all... going back to klang now... to lepak with frens again o.o ... hope later dun sesat jalan in the high way~ hahaha
Adios all...

Tml going to genting

2008-12-13T09:49:00.000-08:00

Well i know alot of ppl know that i emoing in the past few days...
Or i was emo kinda long d...
Well tml i going to genting with my frens... 9 ppl including me...
I just want have fun at there! forget everything and enjoy to the max...
Gonna try every ride.. i hope.. coz i like got height phobia... guess i should try solero shot b4 i chicken out myself like last time~
haha! Hope all the plans goes well.. enjoy to the max!

Anyway im officially shifted to puchong today...
Wake up early... pick up stuff.. and went puchong then went to taylor to do some survey with my 1st and 2nd bro...
QS kinda good... feel like taking it though... but still havent decide...
Then we went back klang... and dad ask us to shift all the things... and finally... shifted kinda alot to here d... but still got some.. guess tml will shift somemore but i wont be here to help~ haha im so bad xD ... but still next week still got more to let me help o.o!
Although now already late in the night... and im tired.. but i feel so hyper.. dunno why? kinda sleepy but still keep going on9 and update my blog~ haha and tml gonna wake up early.. and need go back to klang... 30 minutes of driving... so i need wake up even earlier o.o! oh no xD!
Haha... its good to shifted here though... leave the sad memories behind...
New place... new life... new day? also new life... haha~
But dun worry.. i wont forget my klang frens! frenz forever! i will still keep in touch with u all!
So dun be worry! Got license and car... Problem solve! hehehe... rmb got any events / plan must chio me! hahaha xD
Ok... I guess i should head to sleep now o.o although just ate some sushi that my 1st bro bought just now... hehe xD
K g'nitez~ gonna blog back when i back from genting... 3 days 2 nights~ just have to wait k? gonna have fun there! hehe ^^ nitez

Simple Plan - No Love

2008-12-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

Staring out into the world across the street
You hate the way your life turned out to be
He's pulling up in the driveway and you don't make a sound
Cause you always learn to hold the things you want to say
Your always going to be afraid

[Chorus:]
There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here
Oh so what will you do?
There's only lies
There's only fears
There's only pain
There is no love here

Broken down like a mirror smashed to peices
You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile
If these walls could talk they would have so much to say
Cause everytime you fight the scars are gonna heal but there never gonna go away

[Chorus:]
There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here
Oh so what will you do?
There's only lies
There's only fears
There's only pain
There is no love here
Oh no So what will you do?

Your falling, your screaming
Your stuck in the same old nightmare
He's lying, your crying
There's nothing left to salvage
Kick the door cause this is over
Get me out of here

(Kick the door)

[Chorus:]
There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here
Oh so what will you do?
There's only lies
There's only fears
There's only pain
There is no love here
Tell me what will you do?
There's only hate
There's only tears
There's only pain
There is no love here.

And this is the lyrcis oh~
Thanks to guan tat for sending me this songs although i got hear b4 in the radio while driving car...
But keep forgot to download it~ haha thanks man...
Another songs that suit my condition... hehe...
Emo emo!
Enjoy this songs...

My left eye~

2008-12-11T00:09:00.000-08:00

Today i wake up my left eye was red red...
I wonder what happen? was it dust? or was it yesterday thingys...(if u know what i mean)
My left eye was hardly open... was itchy and like swollen...
Last time also got like that... but this time even worst coz last time only red red but now got swollen... o.o
Went to breakfast with family at puchong there...
Then we went to the doctor... though wasnt me the one to see the doctor...
It was my 1st bro.. coz his eye also got problem... even worst then me though swollen more 9 lat..
He become a single eye now... i mean he wearing bandage on the left eye... lol o.o he say he looks cool~ i was like omg? hello~ haha
Thought of today went to survey in sunway and taylor college... but it was like 2.30 d after all the things has done... like keeping all the stuff in the new house all that...
Then my 2nd bro has to do things for his frens... so today we dint go...
Then we came back around 3...
My left eye still the same... but i already put the solution that the doctor give to my 1st bro actually.. but my mom and him ask me to use... scare my eye gone even worst though...
Haha i hope it wouldnt be so serious and faster be heal... dun wanna be single eye like my 1st bro although he say cool? sigh =.=!
And then i on9 now... Just to update blog... If not later all the princess asking me to update again...Haha...
But i was sleepy now... Wanted to take nap soon ^^...
Yesterday i slept at 4.. coz of survey all the college and courses in the webby...
Was surveying until i dint realise though... too concentrate until forget the time haha...
Then i sleep at 4 and wake up at 8 o.o! ouch been force to wake up by my dad...lol
So sleepy at first but i sleep in the car... haha..
Ok~ i think i should stop here... hehe... wanna go take a nap ><
Adious and "nitez"?...

Missing

2008-12-10T23:53:00.001-08:00

Yesterday i went out with frens to hang out...
When i coming back that time... i was alone... Driving...
In the car... I keep thinking of the past where u were beside me...
Where i usually hold ur hand...so warm...
I were keep thinking... and missing the time where we usually is...
Now things have change... and people do change either...
Although i know im not changing... guess i need to be more mature...
In the night b4 i go sleep... I keep thinking about it where we hanging out together...
2 of us only... It was so nice where i was with u... I missing ur face... ur laughter... even ur smile now...
But now i can only be alone... where i gonna be shifting soon too... even more lonely... only the comp can pei me...
My tears drip without knowing... Guess the feeling still havent fade away...
Guess its hard for me to change and to face the truth and the new place...
The ring and necklace i have... i still keeping and wearing it when i went out...
Was keep thinking... and wishing u were beside me with me...
Though i was having fun and all the fake laughter and smile i make...
Guess i gone crazy? or should i say i hardly can live without u...
Guess u make this decision probably u couldnt forget the past u with him and start a new one with me...
Guess im not suitable enough...
I just wanna say i will slowly fade away... pieces by pieces...
Hope u will rmb me and the time we use to have... coz i will still rmb it.. where u give me a great time and experience...
Gonna say goodbye as soon as i go... though is a goodbye in my heart that u couldnt hear...
Where u wont know...

Varsity - You'll Be Okay

2008-12-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

(Okay, o-o-okay, okay, o-o-okay)

I couldn't live without you, no.
Couldn't see myself without you but it's over now.
I'm lost when I'm without you, yeah.
My heart just doesn't beat the same, I ain't got no one to blame.
And when I'm alone, I tell myself, I'll make it on my own.

Like the lyrics of a sad song, Mine was feeling so wrong.
If you could only hear the words I say.
When your heart beats beside me.
Without you, I can finally, I just want to hear you say that you'll be okay.
You'll be okay.

(Okay, o-o-okay, okay, o-o-okay)

If I could turn back to us (Mm, oh)
Then maybe I could change the way I was.
Just to prove it to us, I can be all the man you need.
And you're still the only woman for me.
And when I'm alone, I tell myself, I'll make it on my own.

Like the lyrics of a sad song, Mine was feeling so wrong.
If you could only hear the words I say.
When your heart beats beside me.
Without you, I can finally, I just want to hear you say that you'll be okay.
You'll be okay.

V- let me in man. (Yo, that you'll be okay)
I'm here to show you, here to be okay.
She had left me so sick like Ne-Yo say, damn.
I'ma need a couple minutes to bounce back.
Love is more important then the money I found (yeah)
But it was too late, baby I know now.
When I saw you standing by the door like go now.
So cold like a snow cloud, so slow merry-go-round.
And when I'm alone, I tell myself, I'll make it on my own.

(x2)
Like the lyrics of a sad song, Mine was feeling so wrong.
If you could only hear the words I say.
When your heart beats beside me.
Without you, I can finally, I just want to hear you say that you'll be okay.
You'll be okay.

(Oh, no. You'll be okay)
(Okay, o-o-okay, tell me you'll be okay, okay, o-o-okay)

This is the lyrics... Kinda nice songs... Just found it just now though...
U can go download it and go search in youtube to hear it... Enjoy o.o~
It suit my condition now... lol to myself man~

I just dunno...

2008-12-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

Its hard for me to keep thinking of this...
Keep thinking while hurting myself more...
Relationship already gone far apart...
A lot of things have been secret or not been told...
We arent sharing anything...
U wont tell me anything anymore...
I feel so been ignore...
Dunno what i can do anymore...
Just have to be like this until i have go...
Until i disappear myself? from everyone? from the surface of earth?

If u meant to leave...
I have no choice just to let go...
And if u meant to keep it until u go... and without telling me...
I could just disappear... without knowing... without leaving any steps behind...
Where r u? I dun even know where r u right now... there's the think i keep thinking... i dun even know... until i ask...
Since my head is full with question marks...
And its too many i have to ask...
Guess i just have to let it blank in my mind...

I keep thinking of the time where we use to hang out together...
Our sweet memories...
I miss ur warm of ur hands and ur hugs...
Where by now... isnt the time where we r use to be like last time...
I just miss the old day...
I want it to be like that...
But now... it isnt...

I just hate being myself now...
My freaking self... Could just see the mirror and kill it...
I hope i can...
What for i have to being sad? the feeling just wont fade away...
Although i still have the feeling toward u...
And i know ur the same...
But still the relationship still apart...
Was it me? or was it u? Another dunno in my mind again...
If it was me... i just wanna say sorry for all the mistake i have make...
I dun want u to bring the sad memory if u were meant to leave...
Cheer up while i wont be there...

I just hope... all the above wont be true...
I just dun wanna let it be real...
There is always a hard feeling for me to let u go...
I want u to be side with me but... i think the truth is isnt in the right way...
I just dun wanna be alone in this world without u...
Wondering is there isnt anything i can do?
Well... now, here , and this time... i dunno why im in this world...
Now i full with dunno...
Hope 1 day... i can really get the answer... izzit the happy or the sad?
I wont know until the answer has come...

Although spm is over... ns is coming... the time is short...
I still cant do anything... or even be with u.. or hang out with u...
Guess i just a piece of trash... Feeling so useless of myself...
No wonder i hating myself more and more...
Oh well... let the time give me the answer...

Finally... I get the answer...
I thought there is still return of this...
But since u said that...
I have no choice to let it go...
The old time... where we were together... I dunno wether to keep it.. or to erase it?
It has both pain and happy... I dunno what to do now...
Guess my dad make a good decision to shift in the exact time...
Everything can just left behind? thats just what i hope... But still the scar wont just cure like that...
But still... the tears will still drip... until it dry up... I guess...
New life there? without frens... just guess i could start to know new one...
Where i have to start all over again... and i dislike that...
Moodyness and emoness will always be by my side now... hope it will go away soon...
So... I think i will disappear myself from here... Without leaving a step behind...
Where no one will ever found me and know me...
Good byez... Hope u live to the max... as the same to me i hope...

Blog Blog~

2008-12-07T03:14:00.000-08:00

I was in my new house puchong today...
I overnight at here yesterday.. until now~
Was like so long nv came here d... kinda like 1 month++ coz of spm...
Was using my 1st bro lappy now to blog though~haha

First of all...Yesterday has give a surprise to szhen on celebrating her 17th birthday~
Was celebrated in the nando's in jaya jusco bukit raja o.o!
She was surprise though~ haha
Hope she like it and today was her real birthday (7th of dec) hahaha
Happy sweet seventeen to u szhen~ lol
Hope u get many many pressie and have fun....
Yesterday also had watch the Twilight movie... kinda cool haha...

I just came back from all the workout in the club house there like basketball , gym and swimming...
So tired now and smelly with my sweat LOL~
Later going back to klang~
Next week gonna start to survey to find my suitable or my favourite courses d...
Time is passing fast... Where i have to rush and was kinda sad for some reason~ haha
I going to ns like few weeks more...
Gonna miss ppl and the place here for 3 months haha~
Gonna miss my hair too? gonna be botak man! LOL xD
Wonder how i gonna looks like...
Well...by now i wanted to have fun to the max...
Must not be emo d... Cheer up and have fun! YEAH!
Now i going to go take my shower now~ haha smelly d o.o chou chou~ xD
Gonna take my leave now!

And lastly... Happy birthday szhen... i guess u celebrating with ur family now...Have fun oh!
Buaiss~

NS Letter has come!

2008-11-23T00:29:00.000-08:00

22th of november~ the ns letter has come...
Was scare and happy in the first place~
I was been sent to Kem Gambang , Kuantan at Pahang o.o!
It was first batch... so i gonna be going on 27th of december...
Oh no! its like after spm... sharp sharp 1 month for me to have fun,hang out,enjoy and all the stuff!
Omg i has to be seriously enjoy this time!
But some ppl say ns is fun @_@! i wondering... haha
Maybe it is fun :) scare the 1st week i couldnt suit the place yet~
Haha~ The letter has so many things in it...
Health thingys, the panduan to what to bring or what they will give all that stuff~
Somemore they got ask about the parents letting me play weapon gun Colt M16!
Woot for sure i wanted to try! But it is dangerous though~ haha~
Gonna be there for 3 months o.o! although they will give money to us per month~
Have to open a bank account for them to bank in the money~ lol~has been force to follow all the rules!
3 months... like march 27th came back?! hope so.. b4 my birthday i hope! haha xD
But gonna celebrate my birthday with bald head and dark skin?! lol xD
Somemore CNY is on the end of january~ also gonna be celebrating CNY with bald head and dark skin~
LOL i wonder how am i gonna be looks like! for sure is silly~ haha~!
Can seriously become monk... like my name monkyz~ lol xD
Well i hope also got fren same place / i go the place same with them~
It should be more fun if got fren along... but isnt a bad things to know more fren at there!
But i have to becareful... alot of advice from my friends and family oh~!
Gonna be missing all people in this 3 months... haha!
After SPM! I gonna enjoy much b4 i go! Anyone got event pls chio me ><
Let me enjoy to the max b4 i become dark and bald~ and mayb fat! as my family say~
Most of their frens / frens son come back with dark and fat! i dun want be that!
It should be fit fit! So i think i go there dun want eat much... So wont gain weight! haha!
Ok i think i should end this~ i type too much today! holy!
Guess this should make the 3 princess happy that keep ask me to update!
Haha~ SPM faster end! and i want enjoy to the max! and NS here i come? LOL!

Mou Liu!

2008-11-21T05:51:00.000-08:00

This afternoon i so mou liu... until i take my own shirt picture~ see above! omg...
Im bored until do mou liu things =.= seriously gonna go insane...
Somemore got ppl say this is nice @_@! I mou liu until do this things also ppl say nice~!
Wow... im so talented? haha jkjk! for sure someone say i muka tebal d~ xD
SPM faster over~ then i can hang out! wont be so boring always! like in the house do nothing!
Haha! 27th of november faster come! i cant wait for that day!
There... This is the real update! Happy mah 3 princess(angel , jo and mel) that ask me to update? Force until no way to run~ sigh

Update!

2008-11-21T05:31:00.000-08:00

Here! this is the update!
UPDATE!
Happy?~ got nothing to update also force me to update...sob..
As u all wanted~ i simply update something~ so that u all wont like keep forcing me~ kolian me sia...
Now here the update liao! haha :P
"UPDATE"!

Lonely day...

2008-11-09T03:37:00.000-08:00

Wow.. Today was like whole day alone...
Was meant to study... But study study study until like wanna die d...
History killing me oh...
Well... wanted to chat or wanted find someone to pei me...
But has no one...
Somemore im in a missing mood... Oh no... So badly...
Spm somemore coming...
Now my feeling is like... Scare and wanted the spm to fast over...
Haha weird right?
Just wanted to hang out alot when spm over...
Hopefully got event b4 i go NS? Owie...
Yesterday somemore i sick...
But luckily today i was all better...
Except for the sore throat... Very bad my sore throat oh...
Even hardly swallow saliva... Ouch so painful oh...
Hope will cure when spm come... dun wanna get sick and i just wanna do my best...
Tuesday already spm! holy... so fast it came... takut nye...haha...
Well thats for today? Gonna just wait my parents to come back oh...
Waiting for dinner...ha ha ><
Mood : Moody + Missing

Wow?!

2008-10-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight i went to my friend's house to celebrate deepavali...
We eat and play some crackers though...
And then we start playing blackjack...
After awhile we start drinking some heavy drinks like liker and rum plus with cola...
We play play and drink some...
I got drink slowly but also took some shot for sometimes though...
At last we decided to go home and i say this is my last cups...
My friend pour the cups to half with the liker...
And the taste was like wow!
So strong o.o couldnt stand it...
Then i was like shot it all...
And i was like joining the fun...
At the lastly there i just shot 3 cups straight oh...
And i was in the car feeling so blurr...
Although the car was moving...
I just can only feel my head was spinning...
To the left and right...
Haha...
And i went back i was like walking to the left and right too...
Wow was so totally blurr case o.o!
Then i on9 and chat with my friends...
And now im blogging...
For sure later i went to bed...
Will straight faint to sleep...
Omg i scare tomorrow i will overslept...
Haha... Oh well tomorrow have no school... Luckily...
Well it was fun too...
But i hate the taste though >< i prefer wine haha~
Blurring now...And missing the loves one haha o.o im weird
LOLZ~ times to sleep now~
Time to faint on the bed and sleep until late of tomorrow?
Haha...

Finally? o.o

2008-10-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i just took of my braces~
Have suffer for 3 years and now already over~
But still have to wear the retainer..is that how to spell it?
Ha ha
I still haven't biasa with my braces taken off now
Give me some times and i will biasa de
Ha ha
Finally free from going to dental
With the waiting and waiting for my turn to come
Wee~ Just abit relief
Coz still got SPM coming~
holy?~ praying* Haha
To everyone SPM this year
Good luck and all the best!
Coz i will do my best too~

Another day of bored

2008-10-14T00:13:00.001-07:00

Another day
Day by day of the bored
What can i do?
Study whole morning d
Now in the afternoon like can do nothing
Wanna chat also have no topic to chat
Can chat awhile only with some crap topic
My god
Couldn't stand this bored d
Wanted to kill myself liao
Argh today somemore no tuition
Cant even meet friends to chat / jokes around
Wah seh i think going to just like this for this whole weeks
Haihz times past so slow when its bored
When having fun that time only past so fast
Totally sigh~
Ouch seriously cannot tahan d!
What to do~~~!

What a day...

2008-10-13T00:58:00.000-07:00

I'm all alone at home
Wake up early saw no one at home
Wanted to go out but there is like nothing can do too
At home was like going upstair then go downstair
Was like go down go up go down go up
So boring~~~~~~~!
Can kill myself of boredom already
Open books also study awhile only
Can only absorb some only
Study quite long but still only absorb some
Sigh~
I think this whole week is going to be like this
Alone at home every single day
Seriously can grow mushroom on my head already
Sigh~~

Wanted to see her but cannot
Friends always sms me saying that they saw her
Ouch like luring me into the black hole?
Full with darkness and loneliness
Wanted to play basketball but also can't
Got tuition~
And some more nowadays keep on raining
What can i do?
Sit on the chair?
Lay on the bed?
Doing nothing?
Study? although will bored after awhile?
Wasting my youth? ha ha
Oh well, I need to go through this whole boring week
Hope got event or somewhere i can go
Just to get rid of this bored~

Day by day

2008-10-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Day by day...
I start missing you...
I just couldn't stop this feeling...
Our relationship wasn't like last time...
Maybe there's someone else?
Or maybe i did something wrong that you wouldn't just forgive me...
I just wanted to say sorry...
But i think this sorry wasn't enough to cure your scar in the heart...

Day by day...
I think that our relationship getting worse and worse...
We are like falling apart further and further...
I don't even know what is the lie or truth now...
Was it a fact? or was it a lie that created?
I couldn't even differentiate it now?
Oh well...
In the end i will finally know it...
I just need to be patience and need to be prepare for the things will happened in the end...
Be tough Heng... Talking to myself now~

Ended just as what i expected but it went even worst

2008-10-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

Today was a totally disaster...
Wonder what i have done and why could this just happen to me in just one single day...
I shouldn't have go there...
Better stay at home without knowing it and just can endure the pain that i have now...
I don't know what can i do just to make it back to the correct way...
I keep thinking about that until i couldn't sleep in the night...
Wonder why i also couldn't sleep? My brain just keep thinking of it...
Making me feeling sad... Just can only think think think without can do anything...
I just wish that our relationship can last until the very end...
Although i know we will go to the separate path in the very end...
Seriously wanted to be with you until the end there...
So it would not hurt that much because i have just prepared to accept it
And with all the memories i have with you...
Hope God will just help me with this?
Or should i just let it go and pretend to be blur until the very end?
Then only i will sad and feeling alone in the very end...
That's what i don't want it to be...
Oh well.. I just have to accept the fact...
And just have to be tough for tomorrow...